


The sheep that smiled at its hanging

by The Blue Escapist (theblueescapist)



Category: Clover
Genre: Future Fic, M/M, Revenge, looking for happiness, new start
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-12-21
Updated: 2009-12-21
Packaged: 2017-10-04 20:45:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,334
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/33962
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theblueescapist/pseuds/The%20Blue%20Escapist
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Everybody has their own definition of happiness.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The sheep that smiled at its hanging

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Wind-up Basilisk (windupbasilisk)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/windupbasilisk/gifts).



## 01.

Kazuhiko is sitting on the toilet when the phone rings. He considers not answering, but then he's wiping himself and rushing to pick up.

"Your bird is ready," a mechanical voice says and Kazuhiko is listening to a dead line. He blinks once, twice. Then he drops the receiver on the cardboard box he uses as bedside table. He goes back to the bathroom and washes his hands, washes them again. He stops himself before a third time and grabs the sink tight. His ears are roaring and his chest is heaving.

Several minutes later, when he's back in control, he realizes his face is hurting. It's only when he looks at himself in the mirror that he sees the sides of his mouth are closer to his ears than they have been in the past two years.

## 02.

The bird's feathers are shiny and soft-looking, but of such an unbelievable shade of blue that Kazuhiko is startled when he notices there are no screws anywhere near its beady black eyes or sharp-looking beak.

"This one's your best yet," he says to the boy when he reappears from the back room. "I had to actually poke it and feel no heartbeat to believe it wasn't a real one. Despite its absurd coloring," he adds with a grin.

The boy scowls. "Here. One, two and three, the specifics just as you requested. Plus…" he takes the last, heavier looking item from the wrapping cloth and puts it on the counter beside the others, "…the extra." The boy darts his eyes towards Kazuhiko, then stares back at his handiwork. When Kazuhiko approaches to take a closer look, he sees the boy swallow hard.

"Nice," Kazuhiko whistles. He tries them on, one after the other, and he doesn't bother hiding his satisfaction, even though he can feel the boy flinching. It's only when he's about to test the last one that the boy shouts: "No! Are you _nuts_?!"

Kazuhiko smiles hugely at him. "Just kidding. Wouldn't want to destroy your shop, would I? Even though you don't plan on keeping it open long," he points out, slamming the leather suitcase he's been carrying on the counter.

The sound snaps the boy out of his gape. He's sweating as he adjusts the round glasses on his nose and he chokes off a sound twice. In the end he doesn't say anything, but opens the suitcase and starts counting the money.

"It's a bit more than we agreed on," Kazuhiko says. "I have it from a reliable source that southern Azlight is a much better place than the North. That should cover the difference in your traveling expenses."

"Why are you doing this?" the boy asks. He's still holding himself stiffly, but at least he's looking Kazuhiko in the eye now.

Kazuhiko shrugs. "It's just…That's where your real talent lies," he says, nodding towards the bird.

Outside, there's a spring in his step as he takes a shortcut through the dirty alleys. He's five minutes from the station when two running children almost knock him over. The little girl lands flat on the concrete and Kazuhiko is about to help her up when he hears: "Over there! We've got them!" and several thugs armed to the teeth round the corner.

Oh, well. Kazuhiko was itching to use his new toys anyhow.

He's complimenting himself on how he managed to cut all the bodies exactly in half when the boy cries: "Come on, Chie! We need to run before he kills us too!" and Kazuhiko looks up to see him trying to drag the little girl away. But she's rooted to the ground, her eyes fixed on Kazuhiko, her tiny body shaking. Kazuhiko belatedly realizes the huge laser blade his right arm has become doesn't exactly inspire trust and calls it back with a flick of the wrist.

"You…you're Mad Hook," the girl says, her voice shrill. "You killed all those people!"

Kazuhiko scratches the back of his head. "I… I was going through a rough time. And they were mostly bad people anyhow?"

The boy snarls and finally manages to pull the girl to her feet. But even running off the girl is looking back at him and shouts: "Are you better now?"

Kazuhiko watches them disappear. "I'm getting there," he says.

## 03.

"Interesting place. Plenty of character. Never would have pegged you for a seedy motel guy, though, little prince," a voice drawls.

"Lock the door, Barus" Kazuhiko says without turning.

"Ooh, eager, aren't we?" Barus says, but nevertheless Kazuhiko hears the beep. One minute later Barus's hands land on Kazuhiko's hips, his mouth already marking up Kazuhiko's neck. Kazuhiko watches their reflection in the window and bites the inside of his cheek.

"Wanna cut you up so bad," Barus breathes heavily in Kazuhiko's ear. "It's been all I could think of. Gonna scream prettily for me again, my prince?" he drawls, rubbing his erection against Kazuhiko's ass.

Kazuhiko turns in Barus's arms. "There's something I want you to do for me," he says.

"Makes me so hot when you play the whore, Ka-zu-hi-ko" Barus leers, following every syllable with a peck on Kazuhiko's face. "What's it gonna be this time? More super secret documents from the old farts, uh?"

"No," Kazuhiko says, smiling. "A much easier task. The new…_medicine_ your government has developed. I want some. Should be a walk in the park for you, right?" he whispers, petting Barus's chest.

Barus's eyes widen. "But princey prince...you know I can't do that. That's like, treason!" he says, actually taking a step back.

"Nothing of the sort," Kazuhiko shakes his head. "I'm not asking you for the formula, or for all of it. Just a small amount, as…precaution."

"Have they been bothering you again?" Barus frowns, cupping Kazuhiko's cheek.

"That's all taken care of," Kazuhiko replies, leaning into Barus's caress. "You can never be too careful with them, though."

"True, but...You're smart, I'm sure you can think of something else to use against them." Barus's eyebrows rise. "Once I'd have told you yes and tried to give you a fake!" he grins. "You'd have busted me and we'd have fought and we'd have had angry sex much, much later. Now we can just skip to the sex part!"

Kazuhiko smiles back, then says: "So there's nothing I can do to change your mind?" He takes Barus's palms in his and places them on his own neck.

Barus swallows hard, opens his mouth and closes it, then drops his hands. "I'm sorry, my prince, but no can do."

"That's too bad," Kazuhiko says and his right hand turns into a wavy blade that pierces Barus's heart. He then disengages himself and pushes Barus's body back. Barus staggers to the floor, his hands clutching at the wound, blood seeping from his fingers.

"But…you...love me!" Barus manages to gurgle. His eyes are round to the point of being comical and already lifeless when Kazuhiko says to him: "I only ever loved twice, and they both died a long time ago."

He rifles through Barus's pockets and his heartbeat picks up when he finds no id card. He curses as he activates his short laser knife and cuts through Barus's soaked clothes. Still no luck. He takes a deep breath, then another, and it finally strikes him. He passes his left thumb over the inside of Barus's wrist, pressing slightly, and yes! He can feel the slight unevenness of a chip. He gets more blood on himself as he extracts it from beneath Barus's skin, but he sighs in relief when he realizes it's undamaged. He embeds it in his own left arm before it can register the change in temperature.

Barus's hair is so short that Kazuhiko isn't sure of how much to cut. He decides to abound to be on the safe side and stuffs as much of it as he can in the analyzer on his right arm.

Twenty minutes later, Kazuhiko's cleaned up and hardly believing what he's seeing in the mirror. He wants to kill the person staring back at him another time. Then he laughs. He should have paid the boy more. Once he's disintegrated Barus's body with his right arm, he cannot help thinking that yes, he should have paid the boy much, much more.

## 04.

A week after Kazuhiko is back in the country, Gingetsu comes over. He pulls down the shutters and doesn't stop pacing.

"I take it this isn't a courtesy call?" is what Kazuhiko breaks the silence with. It stops Gingetsu, at least.

"Kazuhiko. What are you _doing?_" Gingetsu says, and it's not the soft, urgent tone that makes Kazuhiko smile, but the hand that's mauling his shoulder.

"I have no idea what you're talking about," Kazuhiko replies, gently.

Gingetsu stills completely, then slowly removes his hand, walks to the other crate and sits down. "Azlight is about to declare war," he says. "The official reason is theft of state secrets."

Kazuhiko does his best to look politely interested as he holds Gingetsu's stare. He doesn't miss how Gingetsu's lips thin as he adds: "Their royal leopard has also gone missing. You don't know anything about that either, right?"

"Nope. Sorry," Kazuhiko shrugs. "Still depressed and reclusive, only going out for groceries. About ten days ago I bought some outrageously expensive real fish and then didn't feel like cooking it. My neighbor was very thankful," he grins.

"We already know," Gingetsu says, standing up. "Kazuhiko, your bounty hunter permit won't save you this time."

"I don't…"

"They're shipping me to the border tomorrow," Gingetsu interrupts him. "I'd like you to keep an eye on Ran when I'm away."

Kazuhiko closes his eyes and sighs. "Gingetsu, I… I don't think I'll be able to do that."

"That's what I thought," Gingetsu says. The door barely makes a sound when he closes it.

## 05.

It's uncanny how two people can look exactly alike and yet give a completely different feeling, Kazuhiko thinks. He's busy rewiring the console and shouldn't let his attention wander, yet curiosity is getting the best of him. He completes the modifications hastily, but thoroughly, then lets himself really get a good look at A.

It's a dive into the past. He remembers meeting that body, remembers seeing it age, remembers introducing it to Oruha first, to Suu last. The usual need to shoot somebody, anybody, doesn't come, though, and Kazuhiko knows it's because of the sheer malice that seems to exude even through the monitors.

_I know you're there and I know who you are_, Ran's face sings in Kazuhiko's head and, okay, Kazuhiko almost wets himself.

_You used to visit C. He liked you,_ he says, and Kazuhiko had no idea such a young-sounding voice could manage such contempt.

_I told him you went crazy. I showed him the remains of the women you butchered. He didn't approve._

Kazuhiko curses. He looks back over his shoulder at the lopsided smiles of the chopped heads that have been his company in the past year and really, really wishes Ran had never had to see them.

_But he still likes you. So I'm going to kill you._

Kazuhiko has no time to process the words before he's on the ground, twitching like a real fish on deck. His bones are creaking, the air itself is trying to crush him into dust, to flee from his lungs.

As quickly as his agony has started, it ends. Kazuhiko is wheezing and it takes him several minutes to get his legs to support him. When he manages to get to the monitors, somebody else is, impossibly, in the room with A.

It's one of the five wizards.

Kazuhiko's right arm is a long-range rifle before he's finished whooping and he's flying past the sensors and the corpses on the floor to get in position.

The wizard is gesticulating animatedly in the viewfinder, while A is standing still despite the abnormality of the situation.

Then, another wizard arrives and Kazuhiko congratulates himself. Nothing motivates pompous old asses like an assumed infidelity.

He watches the men scream at each other, watches A raise his hand, then drop it in fury.

A warm and contented feeling spreads through Kazuhiko's chest. He's waited enough. His first shot blows one wizard's head right off. Since he's not a cruel man, he makes sure the other wizard follows him at once.

It must be the first time A's covered in blood he didn't shed himself and for a second he looks out of his depth, almost vulnerable. It's enough for Kazuhiko to decide not to pull the trigger. He'd be doing Ran a favor if he did, but it's really not his choice to make.

Besides, one mustn't make ladies wait.

## 06.

"What is the meaning of this?" General Kou says. "With all the favors you owe me, I hardly consider this appropriate."

She's staring at the barrel of Kazuhiko's laser gun without flinching. Kazuhiko stares back.

"There will be no more favors, and no more lies as well," he says.

She snorts. "You can be sure of the no-more-favors part, young man. You think you can threaten me with that useless toy and get away with it?"

"No threat necessary," Kazuhiko says. "Think of it as a knee-jerk reaction," Kazuhiko smiles, lowering his arm.

She narrows her eyes at him. "You said you had information for me. Considering your recent…whereabouts, I believed you."

"Oh, I do have…vital…information. I'll even tell you what it is, provided you answer a couple of questions first."

"Watch your mouth, young man. Why would I…"

"Why did you have Oruha killed?"

She goes so still he would have missed the tiny movement in her cheek if he hadn't been watching her so closely.

"It was necessary," she says at last, and Kazuhiko sees red. His left hand curls into an itching fist and his teeth are grinding. "Necessary _for what_?" he spits out.

"For Suu to live on, of course" she replies, and it's not like Kazuhiko hasn't spent all his free time for two years reading secret files he sold himself to the devil to get, but it's still a punch to the gut to have it spelled out for him.

"They never liked Suu," General Kou continues. "She was this _huge threat_ hanging over their heads. They didn't get she was the sweetest little girl ever. She didn't complain even when they told her she would never again meet another living being!" She shakes her head. "I talked to her every time I could, but she grew lonely anyhow. And I didn't want her to be sad, so I didn't say anything when she contacted that…_singer_." She wrings her hands harder. "I should have known better. Nobody else should have been trusted with her."

Kazuhiko blinks. "You are… _not…_ saying what I think you're saying," he says.

"It was all that whore's fault," General Kou spats, and how could Kazuhiko have forgotten what she looked like on a battlefield?

"She put _ideas_ in my darling's head. Suddenly she wouldn't talk to me, or when she did, it was all Oruha this, Oruha that. So when that filthy woman started suggesting that they _meet_, I knew I had to put a stop to it."

Kazuhiko cannot breathe. "Oruha wanted to meet Suu?"

General Kou snorted. "Of course my sweet bird was too smart to say yes. She knew what would happen otherwise. Yet I could tell she was tempted and that was unacceptable. So you see, " she smirks, "your woman just really brought it on herself."

Kazuhiko snarls and cocks his gun at her.

"I wanted her to suffer," General Kou continues. "Little Suu wouldn't have liked that, though. So I let her have one last song. To be fair, she did have a spectacular voice."

"Okay, so, you're mad. You're _completely barking mad_." Kazuhiko says, waving his gun arm at her. "Which, you know, coming from me is really something. There's one thing I don't get, though. If you loved Suu this much, _why the fuck did you let her die_?"

It's like flipping a switch. All the fight fades out of her and she's not standing so upright anymore.

She looks old.

"She wanted to," she says, in a small voice. "I thought that things would go back to normal, that she would come back to _me_. But she never smiled anymore. Then, one day, she asked me. She had never asked anything of me before. I…I couldn't say no to her."

Life is really unfair, Kazuhiko thinks. He's been dreaming of this moment for the past four years and now that it's come, he feels cheated.

"I'll make it real quick," he tells her. "You won't feel a thing."

She doesn't understand him at first. Then her eyes focus on his firearm, narrow and lose their blankness. She throws her head back and laughs.

"Oh, dear. Oh, boy. I needed that." She's still chuckling as she says: "So you think you can kill me and get your revenge? And I who thought reports of your insanity had been vastly exaggerated."

"Oh, that's right! I haven't told you," Kazuhiko grins back, sudden happiness flooding his veins. "Turns out, Azlight was fed up of always losing to wizards, espers &amp; co. So they put their best scientists to work on this little problem, and guess what?" he says, pulling a little flask out of his left pocket and showing it to her. "They did it. Found a way to rid the whole lot of you of your pesky superhuman advantages. No damage to the rest of your bodies too! Bloody brilliant, don't you agree?"

"Indeed," she says, an eyebrow raised. "Just out of curiosity: even assuming it were true, how do you plan on making me drink that?"

"That's the best part!" Kazuhiko beams. "They made a gas version too. You've been inhaling it all along!"

She's throwing up her hand at him before he's even finished speaking. When nothing happens, all the color flees her face.

"See? Works like a charm. I already tried it on two of your colleagues—dead, by the way."

"That's not possible! You're lying! I would have felt them dying!"

Kazuhiko smiles. "That's what you get for putting all your attention on magic—you've lost touch with normal humans. Never thought a civilian like me could come this far, did you? And yet look. Once you're dead, only two more wizards to go and then no more Clover project. No more lab rats, " he declares.

"You don't know what you're doing!" General Kou screams at him. "There's a war going on in case you missed it, Kazuhiko Fay Ryu! We're this country's last line of defense! You're delivering us all to Azlight!"

Kazuhiko shrugs. "My fellow countrymen voted the puppets that do all you say, didn't they? To put it in your own terms, _they brought this on themselves_."

She shouts and launches herself at him. He backhands her across the jaw and she collapses to the floor, a line of blood trickling past the corner of her mouth.

"Bye bye, General Kou."

She looks straight into his eyes and doesn't try to run. He shoots her right in the middle of the forehead, a perfect round red hole.

He doesn't have to wait that long after his help request. From his hiding place, he watches Head Wizard Shu come in, watches him wail over General Kou's corpse.

Even better, he's brought his comrade. Really, they're making this far too easy.

Except the other wizard is not as distraught as Head Wizard Shu. He's idly looking around himself…till his gaze lands exactly where Kazuhiko is hidden.

Too early, Kazuhiko thinks as he morphs his right arm into his last, special-occasion weapon. This is it, after all.

He fires just a second before the wizard's magic stops his heart. He does have the time to see the world exploding around him.

Cool, is Kazuhiko's last thought.

## 07.

Ran is sitting on the couch staring at the carpet when Gingetsu slams their front door open. He freezes as he takes in Ran watching him, then kicks the prone body and says: "Did they try to hurt you?"

Ran shakes his head. "Nothing I couldn't handle." Gingetsu keeps silent and Ran says: "I just made them sleep, Gingetsu."

"The Parliament's building may be on fire, but that doesn't mean…"

"Sit down, Gingetsu. Did you come straight from the front? You must be exhausted."

"Ran."

"Just sit down," Ran sighs, and promptly climbs on Gingetsu's lap when Gingetsu complies.

"Ran, this is no time..."

"Shut up and let me concentrate, Gingetsu," Ran says, putting one hand on each of Gingetsu's temples. It makes Gingetsu's whole body jerk, so Ran wraps his mind around him and forces him to be still. He can feel Gingetsu's pulse going wild under his fingertips, but there really is no time.

_When you get this message, Ran, I'll be on the way to my death. Here is something you need to know…_

Ran breathes through his nose and pushes the words away. Then he calls back to memory the image he's spent the several past hours scrutinizing and gets down to work.

Once he's finished, he feels so drained he lowers his forehead to Gingetsu's shoulder and closes his eyes. He plans to rest just for a couple of minutes, but the next things he's aware of are a cold wet cloth on the back of his neck and Gingetsu staring down at him with a blank expression.

"Kazuhiko's dead," Ran says. "So are the wizards."

"So I read."

"Are you…are you angry at me?"

"Are you angry at yourself?"

Ran turns his head to the window. "I…I thought he meant it when he said he didn't want to be saved," he says, and cannot help feeling relieved when he's drawn against Gingetsu's chest, Gingetsu's hand smoothing the crinkles around his eyes.

"He's meant it for a long time, Ran," Gingetsu says. "Is Kazuhiko really the one you're troubled about not saving? Or is it A?"

Ran's stomach becomes lead.

"Where _is_ A, anyway?"

Ran wishes he could not answer. "He's coming. He's cold and frightened and doesn't know how, but he's still coming. You…you cannot be here when he comes."

"He's not a threat anymore," Gingetsu says, threading their fingers together.

Ran hides himself in the crook between Gingetsu's neck and his shoulder. "He's a killer at heart, Gingetsu. Nobody knows that better than me. He'd find a way to kill you, even without his magic."

"And you don't want me dead?"

"Of course I don't want you dead!" Ran cries. "How can you even ask?"

"Ever thought that it goes both ways?"

Ran flushes. "It's never been an option before."

Gingetsu raises an eyebrow at him.

"I can protect us better with my magic!"

"And you can always check up on A."

Ran doesn't know what to say.

Gingetsu huffs. "What is it you want us to do, Ran?"

Ran wets his lips and looks up at Gingetsu, but Gingetsu's face betrays nothing.

"I want us to leave," Ran says.

"Okay."

"I want us to go to a place where A cannot find us ever again. A place with no wizards and no experiments."

"Okay."

"I want to leave A the means to build himself a new life if he finds it in himself to want to."

"Okay. And _I_ want you to take that medicine _now_ and not die on me in the next six months, Ran."

"…Okay."

## Epilogue

Ran often wondered what it'd be like, so many people all together. He feels he should appreciate the experience more fully.

"The plane is leaving in ten minutes," Gingetsu says, and he puts his hand again on the small of Ran's back, softly pushing him towards the gate. Ran likes Gingetsu's hand where it is, but Gingetsu's frowning. A vein is twitching in his right temple and Ran realizes Gingetsu is more nervous than he wants to let on, more nervous than Ran has ever seen him. He needs to ask.

"Gingetsu, are you sure? We can still think of something else…"

Ran never gets to finish the sentence, because Gingetsu has caught Ran's right hand in his left and he's walking briskly towards the gate.

"There's nothing to think about," Gingetsu says, eventually. Ran is panting a little, not used to walking even short distances. "That life, it's gone and buried."

Ran looks at him and wishes they were alone, that he could take the visor off and watch Gingetsu's eyes. Gingetsu's voice is calm and no-nonsense, as usual. Perhaps a little too much so. It's that thought that makes Ran say: "Like Kazuhiko, you mean?"

Gingetsu doesn't answer, even though they're early and there's still time before they need to board the plane. Ran doesn't push and waits Gingetsu out while entertaining himself with people-watching. He's already counted twenty-three single males, eleven families and what looks like two unaccompanied children when he hears the whispered answer: "This favor, I can't pay back otherwise."

Ran feels his chest tighten and he squeezes Gingetsu's hand. He thinks of the bomb that isn't ticking anymore, of A somewhere, alone and missing him, of Suu's extra petal that didn't make her life any better. He thinks of the apartment he's grown to think of as home and all the while he's looking at Gingetsu's profile, at the tight pinch of his mouth that he wants to kiss better.

Then they're moving, boarding the plane that will bring them elsewhere, and as they make their way through the throng of people he realizes he doesn't mind leaving everything behind so long as he has Gingetsu by his side. He can learn to be happy in a new country.

Perhaps he can even learn how to make Gingetsu happy.

**Author's Note:**

> To Wind-up Basilisk: so, when I was assigned your prompt I went to read your Dear Santa post and I immediately had a clear idea of how Ran and Gingetsu could stay happy. Kazuhiko instead was a whole different matter, because he's quite in a corner at the end of volume two. So I started thinking about what happiness would mean to that Kazuhiko and this story was born out of that pondering. I don't know if this comes close to what you meant, as it veers quite considerably from traditional concepts of happiness, but I do hope you're not too badly disappointed.


End file.
